I Introduce myself to Grace Covenant

Listen as you read.

God's chosen remnant people overcame their incessant and constant accuser by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. {Rev 12:10-12}

Today I offer my word of testimony, my profession of faith. With my heart I speak, knowing that in the judgment, these words shall justify or condemn me.
{Matt 12:34-37}

As a child, I was filled with knowledge of the law, proper names and days, foods and dogmas. I also knew a God who would annihilate my entirety, my very spirit, if I failed to love Him as He demanded.
If I failed to trust Him as commanded.

In my fear I did fail, for even were every act to “"appear beautiful outwardly"” "dead men's bones and all uncleanness" reside in a fallen heart “"full of hypocrisy and iniquity."” What is the essence of this hypocrisy? Denial of blood-guiltiness. “"If we had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets."
{Matthew 23:27-35}

Today, I confess that I was part of the mob-mind-monster world who demanded innocent blood before Pilate. I add my wish that premembering my response to his loving gift of Divine life encourages my Savior in His sacrifice.

In my early teen years, I adopted secular psychological humanism consisting of three tenants: Human beings each have infinite value, unfettered will, and are basically good. As I matured I kept a faith, but lost God, saying, with feeling, “the universe takes care of people like me.” Finally, though, my fallen nature became unavoidable.

Schizophrenia set in. I believed that I was to become Satan's sacrifice as a psychotic killer. In pride I resisted myself alone, until, as Proverbs says, “"the wicked flee when no man pursueth,"” {Proverbs 28:1} believing that sacrificial day to be near. At the Greyhound bus depot, I met a man with a guitar, on his way to truck-driving school, a Christian man with a kind aura. Leaving Columbia and admitting that I was wandering, I chose a ticket to his destination, and on that bus admitted that I needed big help, Jesus' help.

It was prideful to claim a belief in the infinite value of each human being, while denying the infinite sacrifice demonstrating that value in the heart of our Maker. It was foolish to claim freedom to do good, without recognizing the price paid for that freedom. I could not in myself want to do good, only think that I did.

As I understood this, I prayed, “"Humble me as you did Nebechadnezzur,"” knowing that he lost his mind for seven “"times;"” eating the grass of the field, wet by morning dew, hair and nails growing long. In the end his reason is restored and he declares, “"Now I Nebechadnezzur praise and extol and honour the King of heaven, all whose works are truth, and his ways judgment: and those that walk in pride he is able to abase."” {Daniel 4:28-37} A promise, as Rumi says, “"Like a spider seizing his victim, the Lord is capable of seizing us in his web."” {Rumi Context}

Healing and restoration from a lifetime of fear is an ongoing process in my life. I hold the promise that "God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind." {2 Tim 1:7} And that he who has begun a good work in me will complete it.

By observing His life and character, exemplified in atoning sacrifice, I shall be changed into the likeness of the Master.

“"But even unto this day, when Moses is read, the veil is upon their heart. Nevertheless, when it (the heart) shall turn to the Lord, the veil shall be taken away.
Now the Lord is that spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is there is liberty.
But we all, with open face, beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord are changed into the same image from glory to glory even as by the spirit of the Lord”"
{2 Corinthians 3:15}